It's 3:40 right now... the earliest I've gone to sleep in a few weeks was 2. I have insomnia now but it's not really a problem in my eyes... just more time. I fill the latest of the late night with tranquil melodies that see me off. My insomnia isn't a disorder. It's an addiction. I just don't want to sleep. I don't like knowing I have to stop living. That's what sleep is to me now. The last page... the ending credits... the final curtain... It's an end to my day that my greed simply can't allow. Most would argue if I said I don't like to sleep. I sleep in until my feeble state becomes stable. I'll wake up and fall out like a sparking match that just doesn't seem to light. The problem isn't that I can't sleep at night. I just won't. I'm an opportunist. Every moment is open to possibility. I could fly a kite or paint or sing at four AM. Why should I waste that time with sleep? Sleep is the passing of time. I don't want to waste a single second. Life is too beautiful to give up a single moment. I wish I lived in a big city, way up high, dangling my feet over the lights and silence that the night graces the air with... To listen to ambient sounds from my pocket. just watching night life grow, die, and start anew. I can feel it with my my eyes, taste it with my ears, see it through my skin, letting it absorb me into a world of contrast. The is no light without shadow and nothing is truly dark in this lifetime. That's what's beautiful. There is a delicate balance that's ever shifting. I've moved passed living now, I feel with my soul... This is nothing spiritual, I'm just experiencing inspiration in the purest form. It's lovely, the height. Is this why they call it... I sit above the city every night. Feeling what smokers do. That lingering peace that manifests the moment you step out the door. That's the only reason I want to smoke... to give me a reason to be outside when no one will join me. To stand atop the breath of thousands, watching life tick. It's art in motion. I travel to the same place every night to experience this and it's always new. It's the only place I can really be myself. I'm much to poor to live up to my potential as I am. But for now... this will do. Yeah... this will do.