I feel numb and blank. I feel no happiness yet I have no reason to be sad. Not only do I not care anymore who reads, these but I, to a point, don't want anyone to. How can I be honest when I have to tiptoe around? I feel [blank] because [blank] is [blank] and [blank] me. Mmmm... so poetic. Even though I want a new computer more than I like sliced ham, I'm not quite sure it will bring me the happiness I hope for. Even with dazzling new graphics and capabilities, I can't replace the sense that I'm truly alone. It's gotten to the point where people leave early or stop saying anything and leaving without a farewell. I'm simply falling into the background amongst those other people everyone watches sign in and never talks to. I'm not asking for people to talk to me, I'm just wondering what has changed inside of me to become this entity that can't even bring light into any ones life, even if I tried. [blank] says I still do. [blank] means it. [blank] will seemingly never give me the chance. And I don't think I ever did truly make [blank] happy. I really can't even enjoy my music due to the crapticity level of my headphones. That's another thing? Why does everyone get excited when I get something new and whine about me having something crappy yet never try to help? I'm sorry my [blank] hurt and my [blank] is a piece of shit. Why is the solution to always just leave to where you have it better? Why not try helping to improve my situation? I spend my last dimes on you anyhow. While this may sound specific, it's really not. In truth everyone really would rather go to where they have it better, leaving behind the bad. When you give someone something, it's old crap. Even if you realize that, giving nothing is just as bad. When's the last time you decided to surprise someone with something new?